the kite runner-第62部分

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ve。　
　What　does　that　mean？　　Baba　asked。
Dr。　Amani　sighed。　　It　means　it　wouldn　t　change　the　oute；　just　prolong　it。　
　That　s　a　clear　answer；　Dr。　Amani。　Thank　you　for　that；　　Baba　said。　　But　no　chemo…medication　for　me。　　He　had　the　same　resolved　look　on　his　face　as　the　day　he　d　dropped　the　stack　of　food　stamps　on　Mrs。　Dobbins　s　desk。
　But　Baba……　
　Don　t　you　challenge　me　in　public；　Amir。　Ever。　Who　do　you　think　you　are？　
THE　RAIN　General　Taheri　had　spoken　about　at　the　flea　market　was　a　few　weeks　late；　but　when　we　stepped　out　of　Dr。　Amani　s　office；　passing　cars　sprayed　grimy　water　onto　the　sidewalks。　Baba　lit　a　cigarette。　He　smoked　all　the　way　to　the　car　and　all　the　way　home。
As　he　was　slipping　the　key　into　the　lobby　door；　I　said；　　I　wish　you　d　give　the　chemo　a　chance；　Baba。　
Baba　pocketed　the　keys；　pulled　me　out　of　the　rain　and　under　the　building　s　striped　awning。　He　kneaded　me　on　the　chest　with　the　hand　holding　the　cigarette。　　Bas！　I　ve　made　my　decision。　
　What　about　me；　Baba？　What　am　I　supposed　to　do？　　I　said；　my　eyes　welling　up。
A　look　of　disgust　swept　across　his　rain…soaked　face。　It　was　the　same　look　he　d　give　me　when；　as　a　kid；　I　d　fall；　scrape　my　knees；　and　cry。　It　was　the　crying　that　brought　it　on　then；　the　crying　that　brought　it　on　now。　　You　re　twenty…two　years　old；　Amir！　A　grown　man！　You。。。　　he　opened　his　mouth；　closed　it；　opened　it　again；　reconsidered。　Above　us；　rain　drummed　on　the　canvas　awning。　　What　s　going　to　happen　to　you；　you　say？　All　those　years；　that　s　what　I　was　trying　to　teach　you；　how　to　never　have　to　ask　that　question。　
He　opened　the　door。　Turned　back　to　me。　　And　one　more　thing。　No　one　finds　out　about　this；　you　hear　me？　No　one。　I　don　t　want　anybody　s　sympathy。　　Then　he　disappeared　into　the　dim　lobby。　He　chain…smoked　the　rest　of　that　day　in　front　of　the　TV。　I　didn　t　know　what　or　whom　he　was　defying。　Me？　Dr。　Amani？　Or　maybe　the　God　he　had　never　believed　in。
FOR　A　WHILE；　even　cancer　couldn　t　keep　Baba　from　the　flea　market。　We　made　our　garage　sale　treks　on　Saturdays；　Baba　the　driver　and　me　the　navigator；　and　set　up
our　display　on　Sundays。　Brass　lamps。　Baseball　gloves。　Ski　jackets　with　broken　zippers。　Baba　greeted　acquaintances　from　the　old　country　and　I　haggled　with　buyers　over　a　dollar　or　two。　Like　any　of　it　mattered。　Like　the　day　I　would　bee　an　orphan　wasn　t　inching　closer　with　each　closing　of　shop。
Sometimes；　General　Taheri　and　his　wife　strolled　by。　The　general；　ever　the　diplomat；　greeted　me　with　a　smile　and　his　two…handed　shake。　But　there　was　a　new　reticence　to　Khanum　Taheri　s　demeanor。　A　reticence　broken　only　by　her　secret；　droopy　smiles　and　the　furtive；　apologetic　looks　she　cast　my　way　when　the　general　s　attention　was　engaged　elsewhere。
I　remember　that　period　as　a　time　of　many　　firsts　：　The　first　time　I　heard　Baba　moan　in　the　bathroom。　The　first　time　I　found　blood　on　his　pillow。　In　over　three　years　running　the　gas　station；　Baba　had　never　called　in　sick。　Another　first。
By　Halloween　of　that　year；　Baba　was　getting　so　tired　by　mid…Saturday　afternoon　that　he　d　wait　behind　the　wheel　while　I　got　out　and　bargained　for　junk。　By　Thanksgiving；　he　wore　out　before　noon。　When　sleighs　appeared　on　front　lawns　and　fake　snow　on　Douglas　firs；　Baba　stayed　home　and　I　drove　the　VW　bus　alone　up　and　down　the　peninsula。
Sometimes　at　the　flea　market；　Afghan　acquaintances　made　remarks　about　Baba　s　weight　loss。　At　first；　they　were　plimentary。　They　even　asked　the　secret　to　his　diet。　But　the　queries　and　pliments　stopped　when　the　weight　loss　didn　t。　When　the　pounds　kept　shedding。　And　shedding。　When　his　cheeks　hollowed。　And　his　temples　melted。　And　his　eyes　receded　in　their　sockets。
Then；　one　cool　Sunday　shortly　after　New　Year　s　Day；　Baba　was　selling　a　lampshade　to　a　stocky　Filipino　man　while　I　rummaged　in　the　VW　for　a　blanket　to　cover　his　legs　with。
　Hey；　man；　this　guy　needs　help！　　the　Filipino　man　said　with　alarm。　I　turned　around　and　found　Baba　on　the　ground。　His　arms　and　legs　were　jerking。
　Komak！　　I　cried。　　Somebody　help！　　I　ran　to　Baba。　He　was　frothing　at　the　mouth；　the　foamy　spittle　soaking　his　beard。　His　upturned　eyes　showed　nothing　but　white。
People　were　ru