the kite runner-第124部分

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r　hand　and　asked　if　we　could　eat。　I　opened　the　paper　bag　and　gave　him　his　meatball　sandwich。　My　lunch　consisted　of　yet　another　cup　of　blended　bananas　and　oranges……I　d　rented　Mrs。　Fayyaz　s　blender　for　the　week。　I　sucked　through　the　straw　and　my　mouth　filled　with　the　sweet；　blended　fruit。　Some　of　it　dripped　from　the　corner　of　my　lips。　Sohrab　handed　me　a　napkin　and　watched　me　dab　at　my　lips。　I　smiled　and　he　smiled　back。
　Your　father　and　I　were　brothers；　　I　said。　It　just　came　out。　I　had　wanted　to　tell　him　the　night　we　had　sat　by　the　mosque；　but　I　hadn　t。　But　he　had　a　right　to　know；　I　didn　t　want　to　hide　anything　anymore。　　Half　brothers；　really。　We　had　the　same　father。　
Sohrab　stopped　chewing。　Put　the　sandwich　down。　　Father　never　said　he　had　a　brother。　
　That　s　because　he　didn　t　know。　
　Why　didn　t　he　know？　
　No　one　told　him；　　I　said。　　No　one　told　me　either。　I　just　found　out　recently。　
Sohrab　blinked。　Like　he　was　looking　at　me；　really　looking　at　me；　for　the　very　first　time。　　But　why　did　people　hide　it　from　Father　and　you？　
　You　know；　I　asked　myself　that　same　question　the　other　day。　And　there　s　an　answer；　but　not　a　good　one。　Let　s　just　say　they　didn　t　tell　us　because　your　father　and　I。。。　we　weren　t　supposed　to　be　brothers。　
　Because　he　was　a　Hazara？　
I　willed　my　eyes　to　stay　on　him。　　Yes。　
　Did　your　father；　　he　began；　eyeing　his　food；　　did　your　father　love　you　and　my　father　equally？　
I　thought　of　a　long　ago　day　at　Ghargha　Lake；　when　Baba　had　allowed　himself　to　pat　Hassan　on　the　back　when　Hassan　s　stone　had　outskipped　mine。　I　pictured　Baba　in　the　hospital　room；　beaming　as　they　removed　the　bandages　from　Hassan　s　lips。　　I　think　he　loved　us　equally　but　differently。　
　Was　he　ashamed　of　my　father？　
　No；　　I　said。　　I　think　he　was　ashamed　of　himself。　
He　picked　up　his　sandwich　and　nibbled　at　it　silently。
WE　LEFT　LATE　THAT　AFTERNOON；　tired　from　the　heat；　but　tired　in　a　pleasant　way。　All　the　way　back；　I　felt　Sohrab　watching　me。　I　had　the　driver　pull　over　at　a　store　that　sold　calling　cards。　I　gave　him　the　money　and　a　tip　for　running　in　and　buying　me　one。
That　night；　we　were　lying　on　our　beds；　watching　a　talk　show　on　TV。　Two　clerics　with　pepper　gray　long　beards　and　white　turbans　were　taking　calls　from　the　faithful　all　over　the　world。　One　caller　from　Finland；　a　guy　named　Ayub；　asked　if　his　teenaged　son　could　go　to　hell　for　wearing　his　baggy　pants　so　low　the　seam　of　his　underwear　showed。
　I　saw　a　picture　of　San　Francisco　once；　　Sohrab　said。
　Really？　
　There　was　a　red　bridge　and　a　building　with　a　pointy　top。　
　You　should　see　the　streets；　　I　said。
　What　about　them？　　He　was　looking　at　me　now。　On　the　TV　screen；　the　two　mullahs　were　consulting　each　other。
　They　re　so　steep；　when　you　drive　up　all　you　see　is　the　hood　of　your　car　and　the　sky；　　I　said。
　It　sounds　scary；　　he　said。　He　rolled　to　his　side；　facing　me；　his　back　to　the　TV。
　It　is　the　first　few　times；　　I　said。　　But　you　get　used　to　it。　
　Does　it　snow　there？　
　No；　but　we　get　a　lot　of　fog。　You　know　that　red　bridge　you　saw？　
　Yes。　
　Sometimes　the　fog　is　so　thick　in　the　morning；　all　you　see　is　the　tip　of　the　two　towers　poking　through。　
There　was　wonder　in　his　smile。　　Oh。　
　Sohrab？　
　Yes。　
　Have　you　given　any　thought　to　what　I　asked　you　before？　
His　smiled　faded。　He　rolled　to　his　back。　Laced　his　hands　under　his　head。　The　mullahs　decided　that　Ayub　s　son　would　go　to　hell　after　all　for　wearing　his　pants　the　way　he　did。　They　claimed　it　was　in　the　Haddith。　　I　ve　thought　about　it；　　Sohrab　said。
　And？　
　It　scares　me。　
　I　know　it　s　a　little　scary；　　I　said；　grabbing　onto　that　loose　thread　of　hope。　　But　you　ll　learn　English　so　fast　and　you　ll　get　used　to……　
　That　s　not　what　I　mean。　That　scares　me　too；　but。。。
　But　what？　
He　rolled　toward　me　again。　Drew　his　knees　up。　　What　if　you　get　tired　of　me？　What　if　your　wife　doesn　t　like　me？　
I　struggled　out　of　bed　and　crossed　the　space　between　us。　I　sat　beside　him。　　I　won　t　ever　get　tired　of　you；　Sohrab；　　I　said。　　Not　ever。　That　s　a　promise。　You　re　my　nephew；　remember？　And　Soraya　jan；　she　s　a　very　kind　woman。　Trust　me；　she　s　going　to　love　you。　I　promise　that　too。　　I　chanced　somet